If I Knew What I Knew Now – Career Edition

I’ve been waiting to sit down and write another post about thoughts around working and how we decide on a career path despite not really knowing what we are getting ourselves into. What’s that saying – “if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life” – but I am not entirely sold by that statement. That coupled with the cringey, surface level conversation starter of “What do you do for work?” when meeting new people. Or, once people know what you do, it becomes the label of, “Oh, it’s Jack the Pharmacist”! What is even more interesting is that label is just that, yet the intricacies of our specific fields are understood by only those in the field or field-adjacent. And, no, I do not work at CVS and I think the last time I counted pills was during my school rotations (huge praise to those that do). Let’s all get tattoos on our foreheads of our jobs just to cut to the chase.

Now, this isn’t to say I dislike what I do. But, I do remember throughout pharmacy school (Go Gators!), a best friend and I would sit, drink (obviously), and ask ourselves if this was the right path for us. Everyone would always say, “You two do not seem like pharmacists.” We never were truly sure if it was a compliment or an insult. We did not really disagree with the statement though. We weren’t sure ourselves, however, maybe you never are. You fall into a career for a variety of reasons although generally centers around one of or a combination of the following: its stability from a monetary standpoint, its familiarity like your parents or aunt are in the field, an expectation to do so, a mentoring experience that influenced your trajectory, simply because you are good at said skill, or it was the only thing you could think of as a high school student transitioning to college.

I intentionally share more of the external factors rather than our intrinsic motivations, because I think it is extremely rare to find something that you absolutely love and then that in turn is your career. For example, I would not say I LOVE pharmacy. Hear me out before we start throwing tomatoes and booing me off the stage.  I love the ideals behind the role of being a medication expert to advocate and empower patients and their care, but those intrinsic factors get tested by the reality of the workplace and day-to-day practices. The process to get to where I am in my career was challenging, to say the least, and I am not sure I would use the word ‘love’ to describe those instances (lol @ residency). I would argue the things we love are more so our hobbies: like writing, traveling, playing volleyball, and happy hour with friends. Now, if you can get a career out of those things (looking at you Real Housewives and influencers), then go off. These interests lack that practicality piece that is crucial to simply living life, paying bills, etc. Sure, I would love to be the next Carrie Bradshaw (without the Big storyline and somehow affording her ideal-locationed [not a word and that’s okay] apartment, please and thank you), but I am not sure that is the most feasible feat at the moment.

At my current, and prior roles, the reason I selected the role and have stayed is because of the people. And, it may be cliché, but during interviews, when the candidate asks the, “What is your favorite part of working at X?” The response is almost always a variety of: “the culture, the people, the community, the collaboration, etc.” This is arguably even harder to find in a role. I am not saying you cannot have a role that you love because of the role itself and all the other intangibles. I am saying I think we crutch onto the intangibles (arguably so) to then love our roles. I have had multiple friends where they are working way past normal business hours, and they do so because of those things that are not specific to the work itself but everything surrounding said work. Those intangibles keep us going.

For instance, I was at work last week post rounding with the team and talking with some nurses who I consider good friends. We were carrying on discussing and laughing about who knows what from The Summer I Turned Pretty (#teamConrad) to Big Brother alliances to whatever else was on our agenda of topics for the day. That joy alone could be bottled up and sold, because we were all at work, more or less doing our jobs, but also enjoying each other’s company while doing it. Truly amazing professional-personal relationships that I so much strive for in my work. And, to top it all off – one of the patient’s parents in the ICU the next day found me and told me what a light I was in the unit. She said she was watching me smile and enjoy myself; commented that was such a breath of fresh air. Melts inside You see, it is the little things like the in between patient-care conversations and a moment of small observation/recognition that makes this challenging work worth it. Again, it brings me back to the fact that the love in my work is more so the relationships that I have built, the people around me, how I am spending my time outside work, and the things that make me me; not that title I happen to have as Jack the Pharmacist.

I am here to say it is okay to not be obsessed with your job. I used to feel guilty for this, especially with all the training I have done. Like I should love it so much because of everything I went through. The conclusion I have come to is that I don’t let my work drain or overconsume me before like it used to. That is not to say it doesn’t happen from time to time. However, I have built so much foundation and space outside of just my work that it isn’t the end all be all. I do the best I can every day in my role and positively impact my small (Glinda) bubble as much as possible through direct patient care rounds, academic lecturing and platform presentations, and indirect department projects. And, once I leave (unless I am responding to texts from my coworkers on clinical items), I truly try to check out, go enjoy life, and be silly. The facets of who I am are dynamic and multifactorial. So, my advice, even though no one is asking I guess: Yes, it is important to enjoy what you do and make your mark; but I would say on your own terms and boundaries.

They also say, “Don’t look back or dwell on the past” and I’m not. I am reflecting on my growth to realize that my job is not who I am or fully defining of who I am. I am recognizing why I do what I do and why I love the work I do is not always because of the work itself, it’s all the other things that come with it. It is the reason when I go out now, I rarely try to discuss my career because I am defined by so many other things, hobbies, passions, and experiences. I am going to keep seeming as someone who doesn’t act or look as a pharmacist. Instead of always being “Jack the Pharmacist”, it is really nice to just be “Jack, who happens to be a pharmacist”. I am good with where I am at in my career, however, looking back if I knew everything I knew now, maybe I would play my cards different. Maybe I would’ve pursued some of my hobbies and interests in a working manner. Maybe I still can and maybe I am right now. In what capacity…I suppose we will find out. :)

-JackofAllStories